The Lost Art of Professional Motherhood

I received the gift of one entire month as a full time stay at home mom. I was amped at the beginning with dreams of playdates, arts and crafts, fresh baked treats, and adventures dancing in my head. I found myself ill equipped for the task.

I was raised by an amazing single mother who often worked a lot. While this teach me a great deal of self preservation, I don't know what it is to have a PTA mother, a come to lunch and bring your entire class cupcakes kind of mother, a make your halloween costume from scratch kind of mother. I don't feel like I missed out yet I do feel I want to give more to my daughter. So I was obviously stoked when I found my attention undivided. I quickly realized with a one year old as your only company 24-7 can be very draining. Each mornin I woke up with good intentions and toddlerhood slapped me in the face with teething, tantrums, fitfull naps, spills, and accidents looming at every corner to name a few.

It took all my strength, patience, and organizational skills just to get us both out the door NOT naked. You would think with all my office experience, scheduling meetings, arranging others schedules, I could arrange a play date with someone... you would think.

There were quite a few days where I found myself at my wits end. Longing for a group of women to call or come over or just be a mess together with. But, most of the mother's I know work or if they don't are also just getting through the day. My small stint as a full time mother made me wonder if our busy society has lost a little bit of the art of motherhood. Please don't take this the wrong way. I know there are a lot of amazing, strong, mothers out there making it work with what they have. But, I was longing for a community of professional mother's of all ages. The matriarchs of our society with a wealth of knowledge to tap into of a lifetime of the world's most important job. The newbies to call and cry, "Is it normal to feel this way?" While I appreciate the virtual community we have through facebook and blogging, etc. there is nothing that can replace human contact.

So now I find myself back at work, full time, missing my daughter on the regular. But also breathing a sigh of relief for time out of the house, for the chance to excel at something, to have a lunch break, and for a little extra money. I do feel conflicted though. Like maybe I failed. Or maybe I needed more training. I know
each season has rewards and challenges of it's own but this is at the root of who I was designed to be. Maybe if I had more time to create a network, work out the kinks. I do pray for the opportunity to master my full time mothering skills again. Until then I will try to be the best mom I can be in the times I am with my little sprout and the times I am not I want to cultivate a life of prayer so that the Heavenly Father, who is always with her will guide her steps even now.

I would love to hear thoughts on this post. Are any of you feeling the same way? Am I wrong? Was I just looking in the wrong places for resources, did I not have enough time? I would love to know as I continue to grow into this lifetime position.