This year as New Years rolled around, my mind was more focused on how my actions affect my family rather than my waistline. Although believe me that is not far from my mind and may be the subject of a different post but, I digress. Since my bundle came into this world, my mind has reeled about what I would tell, or more importantly show, my precious daughter about God as she grows more curious. I realized I need to get a few things figured out in my own mind.
So... my brilliant idea was to read through the Bible in a year with the intention of getting to know God's character better firsthand. I started off strong; in hand a day by day check off list, cup of tea, Bible, pens, highlighters, paper. I dutifully read my daily reading and sometimes even read ahead. I made lineage trees, notes of how long people lived, looked up random things in the Concordance. I was my typical over the top self. Mind you this process also started as we were fasting T.V. for 21 days, which happens to make finding time to read the Bible WAY easier!
Then, oh well life rolled on, we got sick, T.V. came back on, I slept in, I got bored somewhere in the begat, begat, begat, and I found myself about a week behind. Every night I would say to myself, "I need to catch up on my Bible reading." I was seeing my goal slip out from underneath me. I picked up my boots, sat myself at down, opened my Bible and said, "Oh no you don't, not this time. This is too important and such a simple task not to do it." So I read my way through Exodus and on to Leviticus. Man are there some bizarre things in there, and some really quite boring instructions on how to build the "Tent of Meeting" *TWICE. I keep thinking, how is this going to help me represent God better in my own life and to my daughter?
The truth is, this goal has been challenging to my level of discipline, has raised some theological sore spots I have always had, and in general has shown me how little I know about the religion I profess. I am just praying that God sees my heart and knows my intention, and will honor my desire to know His true character, and doesn't mind all my questions.
In the meantime, I am marveling at the miracle of motherhood and feeling closer to God the Father. No theological debates, no word studies, no words at all, just full arms and a full heart, and such a deep ache for the absolute best for my girl. Maybe that is just the way God is. While I am busy trying to welcome Him into the front door of my mind, He uses His key to come in the back door of my heart.
