I have three beautiful daughters a lovely home a devoted husband and a lot of my angst and philosophical questioning has given way to practicalities. Still, in the midst of seeming endless dirty dishes and poopy diapers, I sometimes find myself still very unsettled. The days where all I can do is lock my two oldest outside to "play" and put the baby in the crib to "sleep" and go cry in my room so I can't hear anyone else cry, I ask myself and God many questions. Questions of purpose, questions or worth and of whether I am failing miserably or if He is still even listening. I indulge myself a few minutes to collect myself so the old man doesn't rear his ugly head. But lately I have been finding those moments happen far more often and the indulgent few moments not being enough.
I had been praying for provision and purpose putting far too many irons in the fire to help ends meet and my heart fill, mostly in vain. Then through a series of seemingly unassuming events, I discovered a hidden talent, passion and additional income all in one.
It started with a set of cheap face paints a dear friend gave to me and two very eager little girls that wanted to become a new character EVERY DAY. At first I was doing it to appease them, then I found myself getting frustrated that my canvas wouldn't sit still for long and I couldn't add as much detail as I wanted to perfect the rainbow butterfly princess fairy.
Then my mother was nice enough to let me raid her huge barn full of junk (umm I mean treasure) and list it on Craigslist to get some extra money. I started with the big furniture pieces to get them out of the way to look through the more collectible pieces. I had an idea to spruce up a few pieces with some spray paint and I quickly made a few extra hundred dollars. Then I discovered a huge lot of old beautiful windows and thought I could paint family signs or something of the sort for the holidays or as presents. I had some dollar store paintbrushes and five colors of acrylic paint leftover from a Father's Day project and thought, "anyone can paint letters right?" So I put some feelers out on social media and nobody really bit. I laid in bed one night counting the bills that were unpaid and the lack of opportunity and started to tumble down that rabbit hole of self pity. And I am not sure exactly the timeline of things but I got a harebrained idea that I wanted to paint a mermaid for my sister for her birthday on a window. I spent hours into the night searching for inspiration as the rest of my house slept and the next morning I awoke and neglected most of my responsibilities to get this idea out of my head and onto the window. The process was so pleasurable and the finished product wasn't half bad. I had a second window and a little more paint left and my second mermaid came to life.
I was amazed at the nearness of God as I painted and the hushed conversation in my mind of creation and detail and personality. It is incredibly difficult to replicate the human figure, far more complicated to think of something so creative and beautiful out of nothing. I watched this creation come to life and I felt a pride and a wonder about her. I thought of my children and even myself and the creative detailed process that went into making my inmost being. The Father was teaching me his heart and sharing his creative genius.
Soon I was getting such positive feedback on my art. Next thing you know people are commissioning me to do specific pieces. Isn't God hilarious? Here I am, a stay at home mom, with no degree, no art training and a yearning in my heart. He took the junk laying around my house and the little bits of time in my life and made an artist out of me and provided for my family.
Make your requests known to God, open the box of possibilities, and be diligent with what you already have and watch some magic happen. Who knows what hidden talents we all have waiting to be ignited by the creator of the Universe. Watch Him make room for the gifts He has given you. God sees you right where you are, let Him redefine your understanding of yourself and your circumstances.
No comments:
Post a Comment