Wednesday, June 9, 2010

"Face it, it's over for us."

My precious husband recently pointed out that as a married couple we don't have as many natural circles to meet new people and when we do it is difficult to find a couple that suits both of us. He proceeded to say, "Face it, it's over for us." Bollocks!You are probably very familiar with the term soulmate. Wikipedia describes it as, "a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility". Well, Daniel and I have been discussing the difficult task of finding a couple with equally interesting parts for him and I to enjoy simultaneously; the ever elusive  "soul couple".
I am much more naturally the social side of our marriage and easily find the female counterpart of a couple to be enjoyable. I lay the groundwork, saying, "We should all get together sometime for dinner coffee or a board game." These events usually never materialize or after a brief awkward couples date, I discover my ever introverted husband isn't really all that interested after having a brief chat with the male counterpart of the couple.  I have come to realize women are better naturally at quickly bonding over trivial things, common denominators if you will.
"Oh you like pedicures, me too. You have children or one day want them, me too. I love food, oh you too, lets get together."
If men can't bond over sports, cars, or as we get older politics, it seems they forget there are other subjects in the world to talk about. Or, they just can't be bothered to cultivate relationships much more past five minutes of effort.
So we continue to look and try and wonder about different people we rub shoulders with. Could this be the one?
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of interesting people out there; conversations to be had, interesting topics to be discussed, parts of life to share. But, lets admit it, it is rare you run across someone who you feel was cut from the same cloth. Much less, both you and your vastly different husband. So, the search continues. Soul couple, if you are out there please come and find us.

6 comments:

  1. wish we didn't live so far away! :(

    i'm glad you're blogging again!!

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  2. we'll be your soul couple if you move to Lancaster:)
    Abby

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  3. well this seems to be the way of it...but we're here in Canada !! Stoked to see you're writing agin love, can't wait to read more!

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  4. Ryan and I struggle with this too (I bet every couple does), but the other way around. Do you watch How I Met Your Mother? They have an entire episode dedicated to this issue...

    Maybe you could put up a Craigs-listing: "Wanted: Soul Couple"

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  5. hey teva,just when you think you have life sorted by finding and marrying 'the one' begins a whole new challenge eh?! definitely hard to find a 'soul couple', but we found them in dave and mia, bless them! Shane and Dave seem to connect on every level; from sports to spirituality and are harder to shut up then mia and i once they get going...We are REALLY missing them. Let me just say 'soul couples' don't come around very often and when they do it is such a gift from God. Some people are irreplaceable. But it is sweet fellowship when you find the right 'fit'! They are out there!

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  6. I feel you for sure on this one. There's some element about what it takes for guys to bond, namely "doing" things together more than "talking" together, sometimes - and if that "doing" is way off, even, it's still as disappointing. Strangely enough, my problem lately has been connecting with some of the women in the pairs... like the least common denominator just isn't there at all. :(

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