I often think of how if we could just figure out how to use what we have for the "common good" so many issues would be resolved. I understand that there are many levels to the working out of this thought but a few simple ideas.
-Instead of retiring to golf courses and shopping why not use what you have learned and earned to give an orphan a fresh start.
-Instead of having 2 guest rooms, 2 living rooms, and 3 bathrooms, why not give one to a foster child.
-Instead of throwing away endless leftovers every week, why not invite a less fortunate to your table and maybe learn something by listening to them.
-Instead of spending endless hours on facebook, twitter, pinterest, angry birds, etc. why not use your smart phone to call someone and encourage them.
- Instead of throwing away all the things you don't need, donate them or personally find a new home for them.
- Instead of going shopping every time you need a small thrill, save the money and buy a family a goat, some grain, some clean water.
- Instead of being in your own world and wearing a stern face, hand out smile freely and know they do make a difference whether you get to see it or not.
- Instead of throwing everything away, find a way to recycle, make it your challenge to see if you can recycle more than you toss.
- Plant something, be amazed as it grows. If you can eat what grows it will be even more awesome.
- Instead of wondering how and if you can change the world, start with your neighbors. Maybe we should start borrowing a cup of sugar or an egg again. Bake something and bring it over.
* Note: I feel very convicted as I write this and plan to check some of these things off my list. I am signing up in support of Kony 2012 for starters.
* Also, this is not a post of condemnation or guilt but of empowerment. We all have so much power and it is the biggest lie to believe otherwise. Use what is in your hand, change the world, and save lives. Live in the freedom and power that was bought for you on the cross. If you don't know what that means, I would be so thrilled to share it with you.
Teva
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
My body won't do what my mind dreams
I am a type A personality, a planner, a list maker, a perfectionist. All of this has been matched by my energy level up until a few years ago when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I was personally devastated at the thought of having to take a pill every single day just to remain "normal". Years into the diagnosis and four increases in dosage I am more disappointed that despite my medicine and my best efforts to live healthfully, I feel like a 90 year old woman. I am sure being a mother and not getting solid sleep for over two years does not help in this department but I am just at the end of my rope.
I pray for God to heal it, I wonder if this is a lesson I must learn, I try with sheer will power to move through my coma like lethargy, and sometimes I just cry because I don't know what else to do. I am in the teary phase right now, thus the post, as I am sure not many will be interested in my health problems. This is more for my sanity.
I am terrible at accepting grace, not having a definitive answer, and being out of control. So I am leaning more towards thinking I am in the midst of a big lesson. My mind plans and dreams in the prison of a mocking body. My biggest challenge is to continue to encourage my soul to continue to dream, to do what I can, and to accept grace for the things I can't. I have to keep hope alive that I don't have to just lay down and accept that this is the way I will always feel. I believe in the Creator of cells, bones, muscles, and hormones, and the order He commands of them. Until that order comes I pray that my mind and soul will have the fortitude to glorify Him despite my body's complaining. I want to feel the strength and might of my Creator flowing through me fully knowing it is no effort of my own. I want just enough energy to do exactly His will and to share His love to my fullest capacity.
Things I want to do:
Bake the kids at the bus stop muffins and give them and ear to listen.
Host worship nights at my house.
Spend time with my husband after 8pm.
Make healthy meals for my family.
Wake up for prayer in the morning.
Sew- something/anything.
Take a class online.
Keep my housework caught up.
Do creative activities with my little sponge.
Sleep through the night.
Wake up refreshed and ready to go.
Volunteer at church.
Foster children.
Rock and snuggle orphans.
Smile more.
Get through a month without pain relievers.
Practice music (get a drum set).
Explore more.
Random acts of kindness.
Read more books.
I pray for God to heal it, I wonder if this is a lesson I must learn, I try with sheer will power to move through my coma like lethargy, and sometimes I just cry because I don't know what else to do. I am in the teary phase right now, thus the post, as I am sure not many will be interested in my health problems. This is more for my sanity.
I am terrible at accepting grace, not having a definitive answer, and being out of control. So I am leaning more towards thinking I am in the midst of a big lesson. My mind plans and dreams in the prison of a mocking body. My biggest challenge is to continue to encourage my soul to continue to dream, to do what I can, and to accept grace for the things I can't. I have to keep hope alive that I don't have to just lay down and accept that this is the way I will always feel. I believe in the Creator of cells, bones, muscles, and hormones, and the order He commands of them. Until that order comes I pray that my mind and soul will have the fortitude to glorify Him despite my body's complaining. I want to feel the strength and might of my Creator flowing through me fully knowing it is no effort of my own. I want just enough energy to do exactly His will and to share His love to my fullest capacity.
Things I want to do:
Bake the kids at the bus stop muffins and give them and ear to listen.
Host worship nights at my house.
Spend time with my husband after 8pm.
Make healthy meals for my family.
Wake up for prayer in the morning.
Sew- something/anything.
Take a class online.
Keep my housework caught up.
Do creative activities with my little sponge.
Sleep through the night.
Wake up refreshed and ready to go.
Volunteer at church.
Foster children.
Rock and snuggle orphans.
Smile more.
Get through a month without pain relievers.
Practice music (get a drum set).
Explore more.
Random acts of kindness.
Read more books.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Happy to You
The birthday weekend did not get started as I had anticipated. It took me an hour and a half to get off work, pick up the baby, and get home in traffic. Once arriving home I find my husband passed out in bed feeling awful and a hungry baby repeating over and over yummies. I quickly realize the kitchen is a disaster and there is no food to cook, not that I could manage any culinary skills in that war zone, I pack the little one back up in the car and make my way to the grocery store. Picking up many more items than I intended, I finally get my daughter dinner way too late for her liking. After a tearful dinner, we tried a hot bath to transition into night time. Only a few moments into Simone's relaxing bath, she is clamoring for me fearfully, trying desperately to get out of the bath. I looked over the edge to see the culprit was a turd that she perceived as "trying to get her". Oh the joys of motherhood!
I swept her out of the tub, pulled all the toys out, drained the tub, she peed on the floor, I gave her a second bath, and finally got her to sleep.
I did manage to escape to Life Group for some much needed fellowship and studying of the Word, after both my babies were tucked in bed.
Saturday began with cleaning most of the day, not my idea of a fun birthday. Then my MIL, the baby, and I decided to attempt shopping. Let's just say an 18 month old doesn't quite grasp the intrigue of looking in countless stores and getting dressed and undressed over and over again. At this point I conceded, in my mind, that this is just what grown-up birthdays look like.
ENTER GLORIOUS, MAGICAL, ACTUAL DAY OF BIRTH.
Simone and I woke up slowly singing "Happy to you", her verion of Happy Birthday to You. My first birthday gift was my big girl going pee pee on the potty. HOORAY. We called Daddy at work to tell him the good news and I was passed from post to post trying to contact him, not uncommon in the Norfolk City Jail, only to get back to the original person I talked to, they couldn't find him. Oh well, we called Nonna to let her know instead. Then we got ready to go to church to celebrate my birthday with Jesus.
Daniel called me shortly before we left from his cell phone, which is unusual because he can't take his cell phone in the jail, to tell me he had to transport an inmate to another jail and to wish me a Happy Birthday.
All things as normal until coffee break comes at church and as I sit alone sipping my morning brew, someone taps me, very close to my butt. I am thinking, who is getting fresh with me this morning, turn to find my most handsome husband with a fist full of flowers. It took me several moments to compute why he was there. I asked him if he was working, dumb question. He said he had been off all day and had gotten up at 4:30 a.m and left the house to convince me that he had gone to work all just to surprise me. I was elated and grinning from ear to ear. Spending the day together was just what I had wanted. We heard a fantastic sermon and got challenged by the word of God.
We went home for a quick lunch and a nap for the little one. My husband proceeds to give me a foot massage and then ask me if I want to go shopping for a birthday outfit, does he know me or what. We pack up and go to TJ Maxx my favorite one stop shop. I get a few birthday outfits.
We went home for Simone to catch a second nap to be well rested for my birthday dinner and I got to take a nice long shower and actually do my hair and make-up. My husband tells me I look lovely and he wishes we had planned something more fancy because I am all dressed up. We stopped at Barnes & Noble to get some books, my happy tank is already brimming. Then we head over to our dear friends house for the planned home made birthday dinner.
We are welcomed into the house as usual and as I turn the corner, the room is filled with people I have come to love shouting SURPRISE! My husband and friends had pulled together one of my life long dreams, a TRUE SURPRISE PARTY! I had no idea. These friends were committed to throwing me off the track. I had numerous people tell me they were sorry they were busy the weekend of my birthday and that maybe we could do something the following weekend. I was so excited to say the least.
As the party began and the beautiful dishes everyone brought to share were uncovered, someone asked if we could get a group photo before we got started. The girls all pile in together to strike a pose and Daniel says, "I think Teva should take the picture" and hands me the most beautiful Canon Rebel T3, the camera I have been dreaming of since 2004. Could this day get any better?
We feasted, we visited, we laughed, I had a cupcake, the babies helped me open presents I never expected to get, and my heart was more full then I think it may have ever been. I can't really begin to explain, beyond the obvious reasons, but it felt like one of the moments in life where you could just stop and live forever.
I account this story not to brag, though I do have some of the best friends and family around, and not only to remember but to encourage. I was never more aware than last night that God knows us intimately and has designed us to be in relationship with Him and with each other. My true hope and wish as I blew out my candle on my 28th birthday was that all people can feel the kind of love I felt last night as well as the love that continues to grow in the day in and day out of being a wife and a mother. On the flip side of that same coin, if your life doesn't facilitate these amazing circumstances, and I pray it will at least once or twice, God is sufficient. He can be the husband the father and the life of the party in the quiet of your very own heart.
My hearts waking prayer this morning that arose without my summoning was, "let it be according to Your will". My heart is more inclined to be at rest with God at the helm with each passing year. With that in mind I can't wait to be get older.
Thank you to all you who took time out of your lives to make this day such a special celebration. I look forward to watching how God will continue to use all of us to grow and love one another.
I swept her out of the tub, pulled all the toys out, drained the tub, she peed on the floor, I gave her a second bath, and finally got her to sleep.
I did manage to escape to Life Group for some much needed fellowship and studying of the Word, after both my babies were tucked in bed.
Saturday began with cleaning most of the day, not my idea of a fun birthday. Then my MIL, the baby, and I decided to attempt shopping. Let's just say an 18 month old doesn't quite grasp the intrigue of looking in countless stores and getting dressed and undressed over and over again. At this point I conceded, in my mind, that this is just what grown-up birthdays look like.
ENTER GLORIOUS, MAGICAL, ACTUAL DAY OF BIRTH.
Simone and I woke up slowly singing "Happy to you", her verion of Happy Birthday to You. My first birthday gift was my big girl going pee pee on the potty. HOORAY. We called Daddy at work to tell him the good news and I was passed from post to post trying to contact him, not uncommon in the Norfolk City Jail, only to get back to the original person I talked to, they couldn't find him. Oh well, we called Nonna to let her know instead. Then we got ready to go to church to celebrate my birthday with Jesus.
Daniel called me shortly before we left from his cell phone, which is unusual because he can't take his cell phone in the jail, to tell me he had to transport an inmate to another jail and to wish me a Happy Birthday.
All things as normal until coffee break comes at church and as I sit alone sipping my morning brew, someone taps me, very close to my butt. I am thinking, who is getting fresh with me this morning, turn to find my most handsome husband with a fist full of flowers. It took me several moments to compute why he was there. I asked him if he was working, dumb question. He said he had been off all day and had gotten up at 4:30 a.m and left the house to convince me that he had gone to work all just to surprise me. I was elated and grinning from ear to ear. Spending the day together was just what I had wanted. We heard a fantastic sermon and got challenged by the word of God.
We went home for a quick lunch and a nap for the little one. My husband proceeds to give me a foot massage and then ask me if I want to go shopping for a birthday outfit, does he know me or what. We pack up and go to TJ Maxx my favorite one stop shop. I get a few birthday outfits.
We went home for Simone to catch a second nap to be well rested for my birthday dinner and I got to take a nice long shower and actually do my hair and make-up. My husband tells me I look lovely and he wishes we had planned something more fancy because I am all dressed up. We stopped at Barnes & Noble to get some books, my happy tank is already brimming. Then we head over to our dear friends house for the planned home made birthday dinner.
We are welcomed into the house as usual and as I turn the corner, the room is filled with people I have come to love shouting SURPRISE! My husband and friends had pulled together one of my life long dreams, a TRUE SURPRISE PARTY! I had no idea. These friends were committed to throwing me off the track. I had numerous people tell me they were sorry they were busy the weekend of my birthday and that maybe we could do something the following weekend. I was so excited to say the least.
As the party began and the beautiful dishes everyone brought to share were uncovered, someone asked if we could get a group photo before we got started. The girls all pile in together to strike a pose and Daniel says, "I think Teva should take the picture" and hands me the most beautiful Canon Rebel T3, the camera I have been dreaming of since 2004. Could this day get any better?
We feasted, we visited, we laughed, I had a cupcake, the babies helped me open presents I never expected to get, and my heart was more full then I think it may have ever been. I can't really begin to explain, beyond the obvious reasons, but it felt like one of the moments in life where you could just stop and live forever.
I account this story not to brag, though I do have some of the best friends and family around, and not only to remember but to encourage. I was never more aware than last night that God knows us intimately and has designed us to be in relationship with Him and with each other. My true hope and wish as I blew out my candle on my 28th birthday was that all people can feel the kind of love I felt last night as well as the love that continues to grow in the day in and day out of being a wife and a mother. On the flip side of that same coin, if your life doesn't facilitate these amazing circumstances, and I pray it will at least once or twice, God is sufficient. He can be the husband the father and the life of the party in the quiet of your very own heart.
My hearts waking prayer this morning that arose without my summoning was, "let it be according to Your will". My heart is more inclined to be at rest with God at the helm with each passing year. With that in mind I can't wait to be get older.
Thank you to all you who took time out of your lives to make this day such a special celebration. I look forward to watching how God will continue to use all of us to grow and love one another.
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